I can finally say it. I’m just not a “holiday person” by any sense of the term. I get very depressed and sad for many reasons. I do hope others find joy in the holidays though.
Don’t get me wrong. I am compassionate, loving and giving all through the year to everyone, even during my “depressed holidays,” of course. I’m such a sensitive empath, that I get very overloaded sensing and feeling all the energy around me. If I go out shopping, I might feel like crying one minute and, elated the next…and no, it’s not totally hormonal. While travelling, I can be overly afraid and anxious. I also get angry inside when I feel emotional suffering in others and knowing there’s almost nothing I can do to help them. My internalized anger comes and goes many times. These are my feelings, just like any of us humans.
I’m not scrooge, I’m “sensitive, yet very huggable. :-)”
With this “overload” of sorts, I find myself withdrawing from the world, not out of pity or fear, but to reduce the “input” of things that I know could overwhelm me. It is quite painful on the inside and I have anxiety attacks spawn from these things. I just want to be left alone for the duration of the holidays really. I also overload on goodness, and overload on sadness from all the social expectations and commercialist stress I witness this time of year. Starting to “feel it” again and I need to stop writing. So, I’ll just ride out the storm until it all calms down to a low roar in January. Have a happy holiday season everyone and handle each other with care not just this holiday season…and every season.
P.S. -if your an empath and you have overcome the overwhelming holidays, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂